Bis-Serjetà

By Karl Stenniebarra Jeremy, the protagonist of Gianluca Bezzina’s Eurovision song ‘Tomorrow’, has been arrested after a woman reported him for stalking her for the past three months.

By Karl Stennienibarra A drunk man confirmed last night that the drunken kebab he was eating was the best he had ever tasted, surpassing even the mind-blowing kebab he had while drunk the previous weekend.

By Karl Stennienibarra A man who admitted to raping a woman while dressed in a clown costume will not face a jail sentence, after it was established that he only raped her jokingly.

Karl Stennienibarra Simon Busuttil, the newly-elected leader of the Nationalist Party, is planning to start holding political rallies in his living room, so he doesn’t have to strain his delicate voice.

A woman who was thought to have died last week miraculously came back to life today, only to leave a 3 star review of Heaven on the travel website Tripadvisor.

By Karl Stennienibarra A Maltese man died tragically today after he sat on the toilet without having something to read.

By Karl Stennienibarra The leaders of Malta’s two main political parties have both announced they will be siding with Italy rather than Malta when the two sides meet for tomorrow’s World Cup qualifier at Ta’ Qali.

By Karl Stennienibarra All of Malta’s internet service providers have been ordered to block access to the world wide web for 24 hours from midnight on Friday, in order to prevent people reading or watching anything election-related on the so-called day of reflection.

By Karl Stennienibarra The Nationalist Party says it has uncovered proof that the Labour Party is sacrificing infants to win the favour of Ilaqlittirma, the god of elections.

By Karl Stennienibarra Doctors have made a breakthrough in the fight against the debilitating illness known as the Harlem Shake, after it was discovered that taking your own life is highly effective at combating the disease.