Daphne Caruana Galizia’s blog posts vomited back up by the Internet

By Karl Stennienibarra

The Internet has thrown up all of Daphne Caruana Galizia’s posts through the blogger’s monitor, covering her in her own bile.

Daphne Caruana Galizia covered in sickThe Internet, a cognizant, omniscient meta-being similar in many ways to God except that it exists, said It was tired of being force-fed Caruana Galizia’s daily rants.

“Three weeks ago the banshee known as Daphne Caruana Galizia stopped posting because she was abducted by aliens, much to my relief, but she got on their nerves so much that they chucked her back,” It said.

The blogger returned with a vengeance just in time for the start of the election campaign, posting roughly 50 articles a day.

“I just couldn’t take it any more. For every valid point there are 100 more illogical, one-sided and blinkered arguments. Yes, Labour are cheesy and a few Apples short of an iPhone, but have you seen the Nationalists’ stuff? Why of course Angelo Micallef is perfect material for a credible testimonial. My-arse.pn.

“And it’s not just the endless stream of vitriol I have to put up with. I also have to watch a bunch of sycophantic twats masturbate furiously to everything she writes. Yes H.P. Baxxter I can see you. Your ejaculation face is hideous.

“So while she was writing a new post about something dumb that Labour did while conveniently overlooking PN’s own witlessness,  I puked it all up through her monitor and into her hateful, elongated face. All the character assassinations, cheap pot shots and simplistic diatribes. I hope the accusations that she’s a witch are true because she’s going to need a lot of magic to clean that mess up.”

The Internet said It would now go back to happily receiving pictures of Tard the Grumpy Cat.

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7 Responses to “Daphne Caruana Galizia’s blog posts vomited back up by the Internet”

  1. Best bit:

    The Internet, a cognizant, omniscient meta-being similar in many ways to God except that it exists, said It was tired of being force-fed Caruana Galizia’s daily rants.

    I take off my metaphorical hat for you!

  2. If there are a “bunch of sycophantic twats masturbat[ing] furiously”, are you absolutely positive that it’s not just vomit that landed on her face?

  3. reminds me of the blondie joke about the secretary using Tippex on her monitor to delete her typos..wonder if DCG has sprayed her monitor with an anti-Norovirus (the vomiting bug)spray(which..err.. doesnt exist but then DCG hasnt got time for reality checks)..

  4. Brilliant as always :)

  5. Baxxter you rule!

  6. if only this was true….the world would be such a better place to bear

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Bis-Serjetà Election Playground 2013 - Week 1 | Bis-SerjetàBis-Serjetà - February 8, 2013

    [...] Like never before, the Internet will play a crucial role in the campaign. The Internet’s first act was to throw up all of Daphne Caruana Galizia’s posts, covering her in her own bile. [...]

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