Gonzi announces erection
By Karl Stennienibarra -
The Prime Minister has announced he will hold an erection in the forthcoming months, ending weeks of speculation over whether he was capable of one.
Dr Gonzi has not had an erection in almost five years, despite several attempts to force him to have one over the past 12 months.
Speaking to Bis-Serjeta, Dr Gonzi said, “I now feel the time is right. I plan to have it around March, although I’m not sure where it will happen. It might be in the shower, or while I’m doing the gardening, or while I’m meeting a delegation from China. Mind you, the latter would be a bit awkward since their erections are so insignificant.”
The Prime Minister also announced a series of mass meetings planned before the erection.
“Watching a horde of mindless sheep waving flags and cheering and booing like a medieval mob really gets me in the mood. Almost as much as a plate of snails does,” he said.
Asked if Austin Gatt would be involved in the erection despite previously stating he had no interest in it, Dr Gonzi replied, “it’s in Austin’s hands.”
Rumours have been flying recently that Gonzi plans to give the reins to Simon Busuttil once the erection has passed, but Dr Busuttil was non-committal.
“I will do anything, absolutely anything, to ensure the Prime Minister pulls off a smooth and successful erection, but at this stage I couldn’t possibly comment on whether or not I will bite the bullet,” he said.
Opposition leader Joseph Muscat said the Labour Party would “face this erection head on”, although he stopped short of saying what the party would do should they survive the Prime Minister’s erection unscathed.
“We will focus on cleaning up Gonzi’s mess,” Dr Muscat said.
Reacting to the news, Franco Debono wrote on his blog: “my errection is bigger and more handsome than Gonzi’s and Gatt’s combined. I feel sorry for their poor wifes, who deserve bigger errections.
“My errection is like the errection of the poney on my shirt.”
Former One TV presenter Joe Grima took to Facebook to post his thoughts.
“Fucking Gonzi finally found his fucking balls! Fuck fuck faggot fuckkkkk.
“Oh…er…sorry…didn’t realise people could see what I write on this Facebook thing.”
Meanwhile, Franco Debono’s blogging nemesis Daphne Caruana Galizia has denied that she will help Dr Gonzi with the erection, despite being spotted leaving a pharmacist with a wheelbarrow full of viagra.