Psychic ġbejna predicts Gozo to win Euro 2012
By Karl Stennienibarra
A supposedly psychic ġbejna has predicted that Gozo will be the eventual winner of Euro 2012, despite the island not being in the tournament, or having a football team, or sovereignty.
According to Mr Bajada, the clairvoyant cheeselet has foreseen that the Gozitans will beat England 2-1 in the final. The latter will vanquish Italy in tomorrow’s quarter final, partly by successfully managing to provoke Mario Balotelli, who will be sent off for firing a rocket propelled grenade at Steven Gerrard.
The incident will save the game from being declared the dullest ever in football history.
“The goat that produced the milk Ġanna is made from is descended from an ancient lineage of mystic goats who were shipwrecked in Gozo with Odysseus,” Mr Bajada said.
Since being made two years ago, Ġanna has become famous among Gozitans for accurately foretelling which cousins will marry each other, as well as predicting the departure times of the ferry.
Focusing on the final in Warsaw on June 30, Mr Bajada says that Ġanna told him Gozo will go behind, but will stage a miraculous comeback in injury time thanks to last gasp goals from Salvu Bajada and Bertu Bajada, while Fr. Bajada will save a penalty. Veteran Ġamri Bajada will retire after the game.
Commentator George Micallef will explode in a shower of clichés.
Faced with questions over his sanity, Mr Bajada said, “well if some fat bastard can talk to the Virgin Mary, why can’t I talk to a ġbejna? As usual, people are prejudiced against Gozitans.”