Star’s manager denies she faked her own death
June 9, 2011 
37 Comments
By Karl Stennienibarra
The manager of Star the dog has denied allegations that the canine singer faked her own death and escaped to Barbados after growing tired of her overzealous fans.
It has now been two days since Star succumbed to her wounds a week after being gunned down in an apparent drive-by shooting by gang members loyal to Snoop Dogg, who suspected that she might replace him at the Isle Of MTV concert. Despite an entire nation being in mourning, conspiracy theories have already started to surface.
A tourist is said to have spotted a dog bearing a striking resemblance to Star, except for a pair of glasses, a big nose, and a moustache, boarding an Air Malta flight to New York.
Star’s manager, Steven Seqer, said the rumours were deeply offensive to the spirit of Star. “While expressing my sincerest condolences to Star, I would also like to take this opportunity to publicly refute the idea that the drive-by was one big hoax. It’s merely a coincidence that we’re releasing a greatest hits album next week.”
Star, real name Muċċa, shot to fame last month when her cover version of Elvis Presley’s Hound Dog won this year’s edition of Maltese Animals Got Talent, beating off stiff competition from Bertu the Breakdancing Budgie.
In public, Star was nothing but gracious to her legions of fans, pawing autographs and wagging her tail in the trademark star-shaped fashion that gave her her name. But close friends say that behind the closed doors of her kennel-mansion she was exasperated by their over-enthusiasm. She is said to have repeatedly complained that “These fans are more dogged than I am!”
If the rumours are true, then the last straw may have been when an unknown paparazzo photographed her while she was licking her private parts, and then circulated the pictures on Twitter. After the incident all of her fans set these images as their profile pictures on Facebook, as a sign of solidarity. Star attempted to force the social networking site to hand over details of all the users who had shared the pictures, but was ultimately unsuccessful.
Speculation was fuelled even further yesterday when someone by the name of Starlina Borg posted the following comment on the Facebook page RIP Star: The Dog Who Lived: “WOOF! WOOF! Oops, er…I mean, is it just me who sees a tiny contradiction in the name of this page?”
Meanwhile, longterm fans have expressed their anger over the aftermath of Star’s death. “We’ve been listening to her and supporting her since way before Got Talent. These new fans only care about Star and her music because she’s dead”, said one fan.
Indeed, sales of her last album, provocatively titled The God Who Lived, have reached sextuple platinum.
Plans to give Star a state funeral at St. John’s Cathedral are reported to be well underway.
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A happy Star, just before being mobbed by psychotic fans
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Very low, and uncool. And utterly stupid.
If you don’t like it, Ctrl + W closes the tab. Grow up and get out of the sandpit. http://bit.ly/i5lrCV
WOT AN ODD THING TO DO????…did you not think it would upset?
“RIP Star: The Dog Who Lived”
I would say that the Facebook Page name above is an oxymoron, but I fear that the admin is just a regular one.
Star: The Dog who lived, who died
From Star to stardust.
Well…I think I kinda understand the point of this thread… they’re not making fun of the dog, but the OVER hype many people did towards the dog… I mean, It was a VERY bad action, granted.. but it happened, move on – authorities know about it… Next thing you know, they make a public holiday for the dog.
I can confirm that Star has been seen in Moscow. Apparently she is on her way to Siberia to meet some Huskys. I do not know many of the details.
Jesus holds a mutant dog-sheep after visiting Fukushima https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2071059465658&set=o.208516079185068&type=1&theater
this is not funny at al!!!!
Obviously you are a terrible no-talent writer who NEEDS to write stuff like this!!!
What the fuck……………….this is so sick it is not even funny, to make fun of this dog especially after everything it went through only to die in the end.
Well I’m all for accepting everyone’s opinion, and I’m always more then eager to give mine.. this article is stupid, there isn’t one thing about that poor dog and the pain she’s been through that makes me wanna joke, or make sense less humor.. the thought of the pain inflicted to her, the thought that it could be my poor baby in that position makes me, and apparently the whole nation feel the need to torture the bastard that hurt her.. not joke about it, where did you find the humor? In your non existent conscience perhaps?… This article makes quite a lot of people angry, it makes me wonder why the hell do we should birds instead of stupid people? hmmm
Emty vessles make most sound !!! Star’s incident is fatal but the author of this rubbish is much more ! Perhaps this is another sick mind !
The writer is not making fun of the dog but making fun of all the people overhyping such an incident up to a point that Star was depicted as a celebrity….in the process of all this the actual point of being aware of animal cruelty was being diminished, substituted with idolizing a poor innocent dog….its called clever humour!
In the meantime the author is probably laughing merrily at all the hits he or she is getting from the easily offended…
I for one am not upset at all. For anyone protesting get a sens of humour or go away. I admire the author for all the sarcastic and extremely funny articles. That dog was overhyped. Every where I go I hear about star the dog. And I rarely hear a thing about the suffering of REAL tragedies like the one in Japan. You people are wierd if you ask me..
LAUGHING ABOUT STAR AND LAUGHING ABOUT OTHER TRAGEDIES IS BOTH WRONG ! THE REAL ENTERTAINER IS THE ONE WHO MAKES FUN OF HIMSELF NOT OTHERS!
jekk ghandek il bajt pufta ordnat halli ismek mux tistahba bisem banali bhallek. nirrah jigri li gara il star lilek , il uliedek u l ommok!
We would love to go to Barbados too but our boss makes us work 70 hours a week, with only stale Twistees as remuneration
Amanda is a Badass Soldier
Dear Amanda, can I do the same to your family?
Maltin bil-pedigree eh, noffendu u nixtiequ l-istess lill-familja ta xi hadd li kiteb artiklu satiriku fuq il-hype u it-teoriji bla sens li tellaw in-nies ghax inqatel kelb fost eluf li inqatlu matul is-snin.
Proset.
pedigree pun intended.
this article leaves me with one though.. why the hell is it legal to shoot birds in this country n not people?
All idiots and lowlifes attacking the person who wrote this article get real! You have overhyped the situation about Star to the extent that it has become grotesque… I can bet that many of you would have wished for illegal immigrants to drown…
For the record I found this article hilarious
another fake profile of yours – lol u are sick
@All commentators expressing outrage and huffing and puffing.
I will start believing that you are true animal lovers the less time you spend taking offence, lazying behind a laptop/computer screen, commenting on this “silly” (your words not mine) outrageous piece of fiction, and the more you invest your energies by enrolling as volunteers with an organisation like this one – http://www.spcamalta.org/ or this one – http://www.islandsanctuary.com.mt/
Only then I stop believing you’re a nation of whup-ass twats that takes offence at silly stories and stays absolutely mum about government spending money on a monument for ashes, which will definitely NOT serve as a deterrent to animal cruelty, instead of investing that money in animal rights NGOs such as ours.
I’ve got to see if you will enrol as eagerly as you comment on this satiric new article – which I have to say, hit the nail on the head about all this media frenzy and sensationalism.
Funnily enough, the people who know the relevant info, not some vengeful neighbour, still have to speak up, but until then, I am starting to understand why they haven’t yet – for fear of being labelled “puftas” for not having spoken up earlier.
You grumbling nitwits.
Why are all of you people obsessing over this dog when the mad king is quelling civil unrest with…oh, I said mad king. I meant Gaddafi. You want to do something about a dog, but not about hundreds of Libyans.
Bravo.
Hasa diga eebowai
This author needs to stop. CUT IT OUT!
if u dont like, dont read
True animal lover has a very very valid point here.. i agree, I actually do Help out in homes whenever i can, i also take them food and help in finding homes for them, also keep an eye out at all times at any form of cruelty..
I invite all of you who gave their opinion to do something more then just give your opinion..
Steph
I am crying right now!!!! These articles are hilarious!!!
OBJECTIVE: To get more visits to this blog.
MISSION: Accomplished!
MY PERSONAL VERDICT: Hat’s off!
Missek tisthi, ikteb ismek hero forsi naghlquk f xi gagga hmieg tal utru
In poor taste.
Actually, if the Koreans are to be believed, dog tastes quite good.
Actually, if the Koreans are to be believed, dog tastes quite good.